Waiting...

Im an impatient person, im rubbish at waiting, at hanging around, at not knowing...

I guess I need to use this time wisely, but I struggle to shift the focus from whatever it is im waiting for...hindsight is a horrible thing, for it lets you see all the wrong you did, all the mistakes you made, but only once the point has past, once the damage has been done...I guess one has to try to fix things as best they can and then sit...and wait...and wait...and wait, to see if they succeeded in sorting things out, or if hindsight simply showed then so as to help prevent future mess ups

If you're reading this, it probably applies to you, in some way, shape or form i've probsably hurt you, and I didn't mean too, but that doesn't really help currently, because now I sit and wait, impatiently, whilst kicking myself for doing what I did, for hurting you, I can only hope that you see how sorry I am, I can only hope you believe that I would do pretty much ANYTHING to fix things, to sort things, to take away the hurt, to make things better

Im sorry, truly I am, im not sure what else I can say....

So I leave you with this, my wish:

'Lose your way and I will follow, here today and here tomorrow'

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The answers...

It turns out, I have so many questions....yet none of the answers How is it that.....? I have the luxury of living in the amazing, modern time of now, yet I dare to be bored? I can complain about feeling fat, because I eat too much, yet others are starving so there children can be fed? I moan about being unhealthy, yet am too lazy to exercise, when there are people out there who have to walk miles just to fetch some water? I get annoyed with myself for turning my alarm off, staying in bed and wasting the day, when there are people out there who don't have the luxury of a bed in the first place? I get wound up about being 'skint' when in reality, I'm so much richer than a massive proportion of the world? I get annoyed when my housemates don't keep things tidy the way I would like, when I'm fortunate enough to be in a house full stop? I have the ability to phone, text, write or even Skype people who I cannot be with at the moment, yet still I wallo...
Read more

It's behind you...

It's behind you...isn't it?? Is our past ever really, our past? All the stuff, all the debris thats behind us, all the things we did, the words we said, the actions we never took, the mistakes we made, the regrets we have...are they ever really in our past, do we ever really recieve forgiveness, from others, from ourselves, from God???? In answer to the first one, well im not so sure, I mean we make a mistake, or we don't do what we should, and in an ideal world, we realise we got it wrong, we say we're sorry, and we mean it, and that is that, forgiveness is given and we move on...but in reality, how many times have you stood accused of something, when you can't see what was so wrong about it, or how many apologies have you muttered, because you had to, because you were told to, because it was 'the thing to do', how many apologies have you said, with real meaning, with real feeling, with real sorry attached.... From being little kids, we told, over and over ...
Read more

Perfection

The power of words combined with a persons perception and opinion of there own self worth, or lack of, is a strong thing... There are a lot of things I dislike about myself, a lot of things I'd like to change, willpower to change, being one of them....but then just because i know these things, just because I see these faults, doesn't make it any easier when someone else sees them... I guess, we all strive to our image of perfection, our own image of self, our own sense of 'enough', but really, will we ever feel that we're enough, will we eve feel that we've made it, that we're ok...how much of ourselves do we have to change...or eradicate, to create the us that we want, who is actually no longer us, but someone different.Its often stated, that you can't change a person, yet we try anyway, is this because we're so aware of our inablity to change ourselves, so we try to mould others instead??? I've got to be myself, because everyone else is taken.....
Read more